A Little Mix Up

There has been a change of plans.... So in 2012 I want to try out for Miss Teen Utah. If I run for Miss Teen and eat good greasy fat food this summer ,let's face it, the two won’t work together and that brings us to our little problem. I don't know if I should drop my goal of cooking this summer, or stop wanting to be Miss Teen Utah. If I cook all summer, and become over weight then I might not be a good candidate for Miss Teen Utah. So my options are to do this experiment after I run, or do another experiment. This got me thinking, who decides what's beautiful? Or as Alice says in the new Alice in Wonderland "Who is to say what is proper". The truth is, we choose! If we decided not to buy a fashion magazine, diet, or dress in a certain way, it would not be known as "proper".
Even after thinking about this I have decided to still run for Miss Teen Utah in 2012. Usually I'm a woman of my word, and it kills me that I have to give up one of my goals to fulfill another one. Still I won't really give up on trying cooking 100 recipes in one summer; I'll just postpone it until 2013 or 2014! Even though I promise to do this goal in three of four years, I will set a less fattening goal for this summer. I will read 10 books this summer. I understand 10 might not sound like a lot to anyone, but you have to understand that it's summer, my break from school, so I will have a lot of other stuff going on. If anyone has any suggestions for me to read please let me know! You can comment on this post, or email me at hippohmgh@hotmail.comin any sense this is reforming Julie Powell’s project, because she was chasing her goals, and in a way I'm chasing mine too!

"I keep thinking: I know I'm holding back. I know I'm waiting. I know I'm afraid to go forward. But I don't know how to get there from here. Sometimes I see it as a tricky mountain pass between two valleys. Other times, it's like perilous straits connecting two lands. Partly it's the fear of the trip itself, I think, but partly it's the fear that I won't be able to get back. I'll turn around and the clouds will have settled over the mountaintop. Or the waters will have risen and shifted, and there will be no way home, but that's not even the real fear, the real fear is that I won't want to come home." Ann Brashares: The Last Summer (of You and Me)
Ann Brashares is one of my favorite authors. Her books not only have an interesting plot to them, they are written in such a poetic way you can relate them to life. This quote particularly is from one of my favorite books, but it also has a deep meaning as well. My personal understanding of what it meant is: You know you can have more in your life, but you are afraid of changing. You're afraid of being your best. But mostly you're afraid that you'll like the change and that you won't want to go back to the way things were.LoveHannah